FRUSTRATED!!!!!

I cannot even begin to describe how frustrated I am right now. After Hallie was in so much pain last week, I really started pushing the doctor to find answers. Friday, her central line stopped working, which meant that the home care nurse and I spent well over an hour trying to draw blood. We did everything from basically hanging her upside down to taking the dressing off to try and allow any kinks to work themselves out. Didn't work. Then, I had to take her to the lab to get her blood drawn with a poke. Not fun when I had promised her no more pokeys, but we had to have the lab work that day in order to get her next batch of TPN (nutrition) mixed up. After that, I was on the phone with the surgeon's office, trying to figure out what we needed to do. I ended up having to race to the hospital to meet the apointment they had set up for us with the radiologist. He injected dye and followed it through. Turned out she had a fibrin sheath over the end of the line. It's part of the body's natural clotting process. Hopefully, the contrast was thick enough to push it away and make it work normally. We will find out tomorrow morning when the nurse comes to draw more blood.

Monday morning I spent in the GI doctor's office. Good news is that Hallie gained a pound and grew 1/2", which is HUGE for her. Bad news is that things still aren't working well, so we finally started her on an antibiotic. Of course, the antibiotic can't be found at just any pharmacy and so we got to hunt all over to find it and head to south Reno to pick it up. I have noticed that she is less agitated and mean, but not a huge difference in her bowel movements. He also sent us to the hospital for an x-ray of her belly.

We got the results of the x-ray back today. It's not great news. Part of her large intestines appears to be dilated, which means that it is stretching out. So, we get to add another drug to her regimen to try and get things moving through better. It is a drug that has black label warnings from the FDA, so we have tried not to put her on it, but at this point, we HAVE to get things moving better, or we will end up back in Salt Lake for intestinal surgery. Some of the side effects include increased irritability, mood swings, lethargy, and muscle spasms/twitches. The problem is that they aren't sure if you stop taking the drug, that the side effects will go away. Hallie has been on this drug before when she was younger and we didn't see any of the side effects, but it is still a concern.

I've been in touch with her surgeon in Salt Lake and he wants a contrast study done again. That means a tube down her nose into her intestines so that they can put contrast in and follow it through to see exactly where it is stretched out and how extensive the damage is. Depending on what they find, it could mean more surgery for her.

I am so frustrated. Right now, she is on 8 different medications/nutritional supplements to try and get her intestines to function more efficiently. Despite all of this, they are still being damaged. It breaks my heart to see her suffering and to know where we are headed with this. She can't afford to lose much more of her intestines, so where does this put her? We are hoping and praying that the damage isn't that bad and that it will be able to repair itself, but things are not looking good. If she ends up losing more of her intestines, what are our options? I know a lot of that will depend on how much of it is damaged and where, but it is breaking my heart to think about her losing any more.

We are trying to make the best decisions for her, but it seems that despite everything we are doing, she is going to continue down this road. Is it time for us to start consulting with other children's hospitals about the possibility of her being a transplant candidate? If so, which ones are the best. San Francisco and Stamford both have great pediatric small bowel transplant programs, but so does Cincinnati, where my in-laws live. Am I willing to move out there in order to give her the best chance at survival? Is that where her best chance is? Or is it closer to home, where maybe we can do a lot of commuting. I'm not sure and I think that is part of what is weighing so heavily on me right now. There is so much to think about and so many different directions that we can take her right now, and for the most part, it is up to me to decide which ones to pursue.

We are going to wait and see what the contrast study shows. If it is something that needs to be surgically repaired, we will be heading to Salt Lake for surgery. If it is not, I want to start talking to both her GI doc and her surgeon and ask them to start researching which hospitals have the best program for her case. Regardless, we will probably be setting up a time that we can go to San Fran and meet with the doctors there. That would be my first choice since they are only about 3 1/2 hours away. I have a great aunt that lives there as well, so I would not be totally on my own in a strange city. I just really feel like the time has come that we need to start exploring our long term options with her. Even if she is not a transplant candidate at this point, we need to look at where she is heading and what we need to do to take care of her.

Date Night

We are really trying to have more quality one on one time with the kids. I typically spend a lot of time with Hallie, which means that she becomes very dependent on me to do things for her. She doesn't want her daddy doing them, which makes it difficult for me to do things with the boys. Derrick is great at spending one on one time with Carson, but I rarely get to spend time with him that is not asking him to clean his room, do his homework, etc. So, we decided to start date nights with the child we spend the least amount of time with.

Carson was really helpful last night, so I wanted to reward him tonight. We didn't have a lot of time, but we made it work. I let him choose hot chocolate or ice cream. He chose hot chocolate, so we went to Starbuck's and had hot chocolate and doughnuts. It was so nice to spend time talking to him. We talked about school, friends, what's going on with Hallie. I don't want to scare him, but I need for him to understand why there are times that we drop everything and run. There are times when I have to miss things of his, not because I want to, but because I have to in order to keep Hallie alive. It turned out to be a really good night and I am so glad that we did it. I feel closer to him than I have in a long time and I feel like he has a better understanding about why mom is so stressed all of the time. Hopefully, it will be a good thing all of the way around.

Next week is Derrick and Hallie's turn....

Mr. Independent

Tucker is my most independent child. Here he is barely 14 months old and he is sleeping in a big boy bed-- earlier than either of the other kids. We put up bunk beds in the boys room because I was tired of them taking up room and didn't want to wait until Christmas to put them up as planned. I figured that we would keep Tucker in his crib for awhile longer, but at least this way I was not trying to store the bunk beds. The first night they were up, I put Tucker on the bottom one while I was taking care of Hallie's bed time routine (not a quick thing). When I came back to check on him, he had fallen asleep. I was a little hesitant to let him sleep there, but decided that I would see how it goes. He has slept there ever since. We took down the crib the other day. He can get in and out by himself, and he will usually get out 2-3 times before finally settling down and going to sleep. Last night, I found him at the top of the stairs and as I headed up to put him back in bed, he turned and ran back to bed and was scurrying to get in, when I caught up to him. Darn-- he got caught. I can't believe how easy the transition has been, though. Carson would play in his room for hours with the door shut before finally falling asleep on the floor. He even slept in a tent for a few months. Not Tucker. It has been way too easy.

And speaking of easy, Tucker LOVES to shower. And I am not talking about liking it or enjoying it. He is having a love affair with the shower. He begs, cries and pleads to get in the shower multiple times a day. This morning, Derrick was showering and wouldn't let Tucker get in with him. You would have thought the world was coming to an end. He sobbed his little guts out. And he wouldn't stop until after Derrick had gotten out and started the water again so that Tucker could get in by himself. He just stands and plays in the water. Goofy kid! The other day, Carson turned the water on so that it would warm up while he took his clothes off. He didn't shut the door all of the way and the next thing I knew, Tucker was in there-- clothes and all. He would gladly shower with every family member and then a few times by himself if I let him. If I want to shower by myself, I have to wait until he is down for a nap. He is a funny kid. He makes me laugh every day, which I desperately need righ now.

Pumpkin Patch

Carson's class went on a field trip, so the younger kids and I tagged along...

Carson's 2nd grade class

This picture brings me to tears. We had gotten maybe 10 turns into the corn maze when Hallie started having so much abdominal pain, she couldn't walk. I tried to get her to go on, but she ended up in a heap sobbing. I didn't think I could find my way back to the entrance, and it was just the 3 kids and I at that point. I was so frustrated and didn't know what to do. Carson looked up at me and told me that he would take Tucker for me. He carried Tucker for about 5 minutes before he put him down and let him walk. We went that way for about 10 minutes before we ran into another group with more adults and a few of my friends took Tucker for me. I am so proud of Carson for stepping up and helping me out. I don't know what I would have done otherwise!

Check out Hallie in the news!

I've added a clip from youtube to our side bar about Hallie. Check it out....

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30 meals in 1 day

I have been trying a bunch of new recipes as I am attempting to make my life a little easier. Friday, I made 30 meals to put in the freezer. It was a LONG day, but I am so pleased with my freezer being stocked with fabulous meals. We had our first one yesterday for dinner and it was so nice to pull a homemade meal out of the freezer and in the oven and be done. Very nice. I had a book recommended to me-- Dinner is Ready 30 meals in 1 day-- and it has 150 recipes, as well as walk you through what you need to do to make that many meals in 1 day. I should have read it more carefully, because they had a lot of great tips and ideas to make it go faster. I read the first 8 chapters and when it go to the chapter on the benefits of the different types of freezers, I skipped to the recipes. They had a lot of good ideas, like thaw your meat ahead of time and cook your chicken the day before and in the process, make your own chicken broth-- would have saved me a lot of time! Oh, well. At least I will know it for next time!

Anyways, I have had a several people ask me to share the recipes that I use, so I thought that as we try them and determine if they are good enough to make again, I will post them to my blog.

Here is last night's meal:


Ham and Chicken Roll-Ups
Dinner Is Ready
Assemble
Dinner - Main Dish
1 cup rice, uncooked
1/4 cup onion, minced
1/4 cup celery, minced
1/4 cup mushrooms, chopped
3 Tbl butter
1 1/2 cups boneless skinless chicken breast, cooked, chopped
1 10.75 oz can cream of chicken soup
6 slices cooked ham
1/2 cup sour cream
1/4 cup milk
1/4 tsp pepper
1 cup Swiss cheese, shredded
1 cup French fried onions
Cook rice according to package directions. Arrange rice on bottom of greased foil baking pan. Cook onion, celery and mushrooms in butter until soft. Combine onion, celery and mushrooms, chicken and one third of the soup. Divide among the slices of ham. Roll up and place seam side down on top of rice. Combine sour cream, milk, pepper and remaining soup. Pour over roll-ups. Cover with extra heavy foil. Label and freeze.
To serve: Thaw. Bake uncovered, 45 minutes at 350บ. Top with cheese and French fried onions. Bake 10 minutes.
6 Servings


My kids LOVED this and we at every last bit of it. I would probably double the recipe and make a whole casserole dish of it, as opposed to a 9x9 pan. Also, I would add more rice and more sauce to make it go farther.

This next recipe is not one of my freezer meals, but one I came across and thought sounded good. We made it for breakfast yesterday with my sister and will have to make again when Derrick comes home.


Amazing Apple Pancakes

2 apples, peeled and sliced
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 tsp cinnamon
5 Tbls butter/margarine
6 eggs
1 1/2 cups milk
1 1/2 cups flour
1/2 tsp salt
powdered sugar

Lower rack in your oven so that it is closer to the bottom of the oven than to the top. This rises, so you probably will just want 1 rack in the oven. Preheat oven to 425 degrees. In a small bowl, mix the apple slices with the two sugars and cinnamon; set aside. Chop the butter/margarine and scatter it in a 9x13 glass baking dish, then place the dish in the oven. While the butter/margarine melts, beat the eggs, then stir int he milk, flour, and salt. As soon as the butter starts to bubble, remove the baking dish fromt he oven and pour in the sugar/apple mixture. Without stirring, pour the egg/milk/flour mixture on top. Carefully return the baking dish to the oven and bake for 20-22 minutes. Cut the pancake into squares and sprinkle powdered sugar on top. Makes 6 servings.

This does rise while cooking, but I didn't think there was a need to remove the top rack, just make sure it is at the top setting and the bottom is at the lowest setting and you should be good. These are REALLY good!


If anyone has some good recipes they would like to share, I would love for you to send them to me. The book has what looks to be good recipes, but you know how that goes-- sometimes they don't turn out as well as they sound. I would love some tried and true recipes to throw into the mix!

Helping Hallie Blog Button

We've had several requests, so we created a blog button that you can place on your blog and it will link directly to Hallie's website. We did the math last week and if we did not have 1 single medical bill to pay-- no hospital bills, surgery bills, etc. (which we have a ton, but it's a nice thought), it would still cost us about $2,000 a month to provide Hallie with the nutrition that she needs and that is AFTER insurance. It's a good thing she is so cute because she is sure expensive! Please help us get the word out about her cause by copying and pasting the button text on the side bar. On your own bar, you need to add the html/graphic gadget and then paste.

Count your blessings....

The last few weeks have been really rough for me. I have been feeling very overwhelmed and frustrated with everything going on with Hallie and how much care she needs. I feel like my life is consumed with Hallie. I can't tell you the last time I read a book and which for those of you that know me, know how big that is for me. I only watch tv if I'm folding laundry or some other multi-tasking. I am having a hard time keeping my house presentable, let alone clean and germ free for Miss Hallie.

Tucker failed his hearing test, so I am worried about him and whether his not speaking at all right now is an indication that his speech will be delayed. We will test him again in 2 months, and then 2 months after that before making a determination of whether he will require speech therapy. So it is a little ways off, but it is something else to add to my load. He has hit this phase where he is as cute as can be until he doesn't get what he wants and then he turns into this gremlin that I don't recognize or really like. And he has had a cold for the last week with a constantly runny nose that I get to wipe all of the time. He also wants to be held. I love holding him, but I don't get much accomplished that way. Just one more thing to deal with.

And then Carson has hit this phase where he is Mr. Dramatic. He throws these temper tantrums over the littlest thing. You ask him to do his homework and he starts wailing and gnashing and throwing this tantrum that would rival a 2 year old. You would think asking him to shower was tantamount to asking him to cut off a finger. Honestly, it is a huge relief to send him out the door to school each day and I am not necessarily looking forward to him coming back in the door. What has been a somewhat manageable day turns quickly into a nightmare as he is causing Hallie and Tucker to scream and he won't listen to me either. I have to ask him at least 8-10 times to do something, before I finally lose it and force him to do it. It is just a ton of drama at the moment. Plus he started football a few weeks ago, so 3x a week I get to drive him to football. Next week they move to a park closer to us, which will be nice. I mistakenly thought that since Derrick is coaching him, I could let him take Carson and have an hour or so more in my day. Silly me. Carson asked me after the first practice why I wasn't there. I told him it was just practice and I would come to the games. He informed me that he was the only one there without a parent (not hardly). I asked him why his daddy didn't count. Didn't I know that his dad is not there for him? He needs someone to watch him specifically. So I get to take Hallie and Tucker and sit on the sidelines and chase Tucker around in the cold for an hour on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.

Derrick has been working a lot lately. In order to cut costs, they are no longer pulling in labor for the smaller shows, so all of the salaried people are working more and more. I keep telling myself that at least we still have a job, but it means that he is working at least 1 weekend day, and sometimes both. I hate taking my kids to church by myself. I feel like it's a losing battle and I am not getting a single thing out of it. Then to top it off, Derrick got sent to New Orleans for 10 days. They asked everybody in the office to use their connections throughout the company and see if they needed help on any of the big shows. Basically, this means that the office they are helping out will pay their salary and expenses. It takes them off of the Reno office's books for that time. I understand the reasoning, but when I am already feeling overwhelmed, it just adds insult to injury. Derrick will get back on the 9th and then probably home for about 2 weeks and then to Vegas for 10 more days or so. That means I will not be getting much help from that direction.

And Hallie, Hallie, Hallie-- the cause of most of my stress. 4 days a week our bed time routine consists of mixing her formula, putting it in the feeding bag, programming and priming the pump, mixing her laxative and probiotic in water, hooking her to her tubing, injecting the laxative, probiotic, and now nectar concentrate into it, unhooking that, cleaning around her button, which is very tender at the moment for whatever reason, hooking her up to her pump, cleaning my hands intensely, taking a rubbing alchol wipe to the end of her central line, flushing the line with saline and then heparin in order to keep it from clotting off, wiping down her entire bathroom with a clorox wipe, singing her Here Comes Santa Claus (year round) and finally tucking her in bed. The other 3 nights instead of doing the whole formula bit, I get to sterlize everything in the bathroom, take the TPN and vitamins from the refrigerator, clean the port, clean the vials of vitamins, take a syringe with a needle, insert into the first vial, draw back and pull out, then inject contents of vial 1 into TPN bag, throw the syringe into the sharps container, pull out new syringe, repeat process with vial 2. Then I get to tear off the divider between her tpn and lipids and mix everything together. After everything is mixed, I get to pull off the plug on the bag, insert tubing, place siphon on end of tubing, attach tubing to pump, prime the tubing, making sure the filter is completely filled and there is no air left, cleaning end with alcohol wipe, cleaning her central line hub, flushing with saline (which makes her gag to the point of retching so I have to give her a sucker in order to avoid getting puked on) and attaching the tubing to the central line. It is a very long process.

She can't bathe, so we had to get creative. Every other night she gets wiped down with a wash cloth. On the other days, I have to tape up her central line, cover with saran wrap and tape down, put her in the bathtub with a few inches of water and let her lay on a baby bath sling. This allows her head to hang over the edge of it, then I get to stand in the water with her and wash her quickly, then wash her hair and get her out, all without letting the line get wet.

We are at the doctor all of the time. I started out this week thinking that I only had 1 appointment this week and none next week, so it was a good time for Derrick to be gone. I took Hallie to her GI doc on Tuesday. She did gain weight, which is great, but is still having very abnormal bowel movments. He started her on the nectar concentrate (I had to go to 5 stores to find it) and wants to see her back in a week. He also wanted me to take her to the surgeon so that he could remove the stitch in her central because it was very red and irritated around the insertion site and he was worried it was going to get infected. So I got to take her Wednesday to the surgeon. I made arrangements for someone to watch Tucker, since we would be exposing her central line and I didn't need his help and germs to be around it. We got there and luckily, I had thought ahead and brought a dressing change kit and a new dressing because they weren't prepared and were just going to slap a tegaderm on it until I got her home. And they weren't going to clean it either-- major problem. For whatever reason, as I was leaning over the table holding her down, I started to get nauseated and then hot and clammy. About the time they finally finished, I had to sit down because I thought I was going to pass out. I have never done that before! I have seen her through so much worse, so I am not sure what happened. It was very bizarre. Anyways, tomorrow the nurse is coming to do a blood draw, they will deliver her new batch of TPN on Monday and Tuesday we are back to the GI doc. If her g-tube doesn't stop being so sensitive, I am going to have to take her into the pediatrician as well.

Once a week, I have to change the central line dressing, which takes about half an hour and has to be done completely sterile. I can't have the dog or Tucker around and I need an extra set of hands in order to keep her hands away from the insertion site. Once a month I have to change her g-tube, which is a pretty fast process, but the minute you take it out, it is like a volcano with all of her stomach contents, so the clean up is not fun.

It just has gotten to be a lot and it would be different if it was only going on for a month or two, but she has been a ton of work since January and it is starting to take a toll. I worry about how this is affecting Carson. I don't want him to resent Hallie for taking up so much of my time. I don't want him to feel like I am not a good mom to him. I am starting to feel resentful of Derrick for getting to go to work and coach football and all of the other normal things he gets to do and I don't. And then I get mad at myself for feeling that way. It has just been very difficult the last little while. I find myself welling up in tears frequently and the other night when I had to change Hallie's g-tube, she started crying and so I started crying. I hate having to be the one to do all of this mean stuff to her. I hate forcing her to endure yet another uncomfortable procedure. I am short with the kids and with Derrick and it has just gotten a little out of control.

So, I started praying for help. I know that no one can take away what I have to deal with, but I needed a better perspective on things to get through it all. It started to change when I was walking through Kohl's a few weeks ago, looking for a fall dress for Hallie (why are dresses so hard to come by right now?). I was walking by their home decor section and saw a tile with the saying on it "when we put our cares in His Hands, He puts His peace in our hearts". It stopped me in my tracks. It really struck a chord in my heart and I had to have that tile. What an incredible reminder of what we need to do in order to get through this life. I picked it up to see how much it was and realized it was a 2 pack. The other tile reads " Peace on the outside comes from knowing God on the inside". Wow. It made me think-- am I doing everything I need to in order to be close to the Lord? How many times have I made the decision that doing those dishes was more important than reading my scriptures. How many times when I am discouraged and frustrated, have I forgotten to pray and turn it over to the Lord. And what a bonus-- the tiles were on sale for 50% off! So, one is now in my kitchen and one in my hall. And everytime I see them, I am reminded that the Lord does care.

The next thing that helped was when I was digging through my closet trying to find something. I found a cross stitch that I started before Carson was born and didn't finish until just before Hallie was born. It is a 11 x 14 picture of Christ holding a little child. I have never had it framed, so I decided to make it a priority. I finally found a frame for it and Derrick hung it above Hallie's bed. In a weird way, the child kind of looks like Hallie. Everytime I walk into her room, I feel this peace descending on me. I know the Lord is watching over Hallie. Whatever path she continues on, He is aware of her and her needs and when I can't be with her in the surgery room, He sends someone to watch over her for me. I have had far too many experiences to believe otherwise.

As I was getting overwhelmed with Derrick leaving, we found a cheap air fare from Salt Lake to Reno. My sister has been wanting to come out to visit for awhile, but with her soccer schedule, it makes it very difficult to find a time. It just happens to be UEA in Utah where the kids get 2 days off of school and soccer is limited. What a perfect time for her to come out. She is flying in Saturday morning and will be here until Monday. It is a short trip, but it breaks up the time that Derrick is gone. I only have to get through 3 days before she is here, and then 4 days after by myself.

I was already starting to feel more peaceful and confident that I could handle whatever was required of me when I read my friend's blog. She and her husband are trying to decide whether to adopt and she was writing about how she felt the Lord had prepared her to get to this point. She can look back at specific instances in her life and say that subconciously, she knew that she was going to have the opportunity to the adopt, even from as old as 5 or 6. She has children of her own, but cannot have anymore and is now moving forward with adopting. It really made me think and put together some thoughts that I have been having for the last month or two. I have been prepared to take care of Hallie. I have been looking back at my life and choices that I have made or jobs that I have had that have prepared me to care for her. For those that know my family, we have a weird medical back ground-- from my mom having a tumor when I was in the 3rd grade that had hair and teeth, to my sister being conceived with only half of the working parts needed, to my dad having a rare disease that caused him to just drop to the ground in the middle of no where and requiring brain surgery to fix, I have been exposed to a lot of different medical conditions growing up and have almost come to accept them as the norm. When Hallie was born, while I was prepared for all of her problems, I wasn't shocked to learn about her 5 spleens or any other thing. I took an anatomy class in high school. There really wasn't a reason for it, it was just sounded like a better option than the alternative. I took an anatomy class in college, complete with cadavers. I didn't love it, it didn't help towards my major, I'm really not sure why I did it, but that information has become invaluable to me in trying to figure Hallie out. I have had so many comments from doctors or nurses about how well I know Hallie's body and how much I understand it. I have been told that is part of the reason that she is still here, that I have such a good understanding of her that I can really help guide her doctors in figuring out what is wrong with her. I did medical billing for 2 years, while I was pregnant with Carson and from home after he was born. I understand insurance companies and how they work and how to get them to pay claims that they don't want to. My life would be so much more stressful if I had to muddle through all of that and not have the background that I have. The Lord has truly prepared me in my life to be the best possible mom and deal with whatever we may have to face. He is not asking me to do this by myself. He has given me the tools necessary to get through this and will make me strong enough to face whatever may come. My friend's blog really helped take all of these random thoughts in my head and make them gel together. Thanks Rachel! I really needed that right now.

I have talked to the pedicatrician and she is helping set up a home care nurse that will come in twice a week-- once during the day so that I can go help in Carson's class and once at night so that Derrick and I can actually go out or so that when Derrick is working, I can actually do funny things like go to a PTA meeting or visiting teaching without Hallie. They are getting us a handicap parking pass. It's not much in terms of relieving stress, but it will make things more convenient at the store, especially with the holiday rush coming up. I have spoken with the pharmacist and we are switching up her TPN schedule. Instead of Monday, Wednesday, Friday, which coincides with Carson's football, making those evenings a nightmare, we are switching it to Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday. We finally got her trust fund papers finalized, which is a big relief and now just need to get her tax id # (way more difficult than it should be) and then we can start approaching bigger corperations to see if they can donate and help out with some of her medical expenses. Right now, we are paying about $2,000 a month out of pocket in just her nutrition and doctor visits. That doesn't include any of her bills for her hospitalizations or surgery. That in and of itself is like this heavy rock sitting on my chest. We have raised about $6,000 so far, but that has gone very quickly. We are starting a new fundraiser next week selling candles. I have 15 people around the country that are going to be selling them for me so that I don't have to try and do it all myself. We have a salon that is going to be staying open on a Saturday and donating 100% of the money to Hallie. We have several other things in the works, and we are hoping that we will soon have more money flowing in to help with that stressor.

The final thing that really made a difference was at the GI doc on Tuesday. We were sitting in the waiting room when we saw a mom walk in with a baby that had a trach tube. In comparison, we are dealing with nothing. In Utah, we are around kids that are really sick a lot more when she is at the children's hospital. It helps us keep perspective. When we are in Reno, you don't see that many chronically ill children, so it is easy to keep sight of the fact that it could be worse.

In all, I have taken an inventory of my blessings and am extremely grateful for the many people that the Lord has put in our lives in order to help us through this. I am grateful for every small step Hallie takes towards being well. In a funny way, she is making up for everything by all of a sudden being on this helpful kick. She folds my towels for me-- and nicely. Carson folds them in a heap and I have to refold them. Hallie folds them neatly, and even though it is not the way I do it, I can actually put them away that way. She started making her own bed and cleaning her room ( a constant battle with Carson who still claims he doesn't know how to make his bed), although she told my mom that you just shove it all in the closet, so be careful when approaching her closet-- it might explode! The other day, she even made my bed. I was cleaning her closet and went to check on her, only to find her in my room, making my bed. What a surprise! The Lord blesses you so much, regardless of the trials He puts in your life. He is mindful of each and every one of us and if we just pause for a moment, we will be able to see the many blessing in our lives.